Edge of Infinity

About

【ᴛᴡ ғᴏʀ: ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴀʙᴀɴᴅᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ, ʜᴏᴍᴏᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀ, ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛᴇᴅ sᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ, sᴇʟғ-ʜᴀʀᴍ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟɪsᴍ】

Aetos (Ἀετός) was born in Rasayani, India, and adopted out of a children’s home in Mumbai as an infant, to a pair of Evangelical missionaries. He grew up fairly happily with his adoptive family in Ridgefield, New Jersey. He had three much older siblings—his parents’ biological children—and though they essentially got along, he was never really “close” with them due to the age difference: All three were college-age by the time he was starting primary school. His parents were loving toward him for the vast majority of his childhood; encouraging him in his musical talents and love of learning...though some of his scientific interests were discouraged by the fundamentalist, Evangelical beliefs held by his parents and his private school. Pre-teen years would see him grounded or without internet privileges for periods of time for researching topics they didn’t approve of—evolution or the geological age of the earth or similar. Aetos, logic-minded and instinctively inclined towards research, struggled with the disparity between what he was being taught and told vs. what made sense to him when sat down and thought over, and he spent many nights in early teenagehood mulling over everything, increasingly frustrated with feeling at an impasse with himself. 

Those same years found him at a second, more painful struggle: He’d reached the age where puberty was hitting, womanhood was looming, and it felt...wrong. Caustically, viscerally wrong. His chest developing made him feel like a caged dog, desperate to claw its way to freedom, and the name and pronouns that had only ever felt neutral to him before suddenly took on a new air of hostile unfamiliarity once compounded by his biology’s betrayal. At the same time, LGBT rights had come into the public view like never before, and the profoundly religious nature of his social circles were quick toward condemnation. And Aetos…well. That he did notice, and the shame within him felt unbearable. He felt desperate for a cure, desperate for denial, and when he couldn’t quite reach either he curled miserably into penance as best he could make sense of it: Physically punishing himself for his thoughts and desires, trying to train himself free of sin, and resolutely hiding the marks under the clean, crisp facade of school-uniform sleeves.

As the years passed and he grappled more with his faith—with the painful rift between a Loving God and the concept of Him condemning love, with the frustrating standstill he felt he’d come to between his religion and his rationality, his religion and himself—Aetos dove again into the internet, searching for answers. He found solidarity: Sites like transmissionministry.com, thechristiancloset, qchristian.org; digital communities and forums where he could ask questions and vent and voice his fears. Online, he started using the pronouns that felt right to him, and (re)named himself Ἀετός, the Biblical Greek word for ‘eagle.’ It was truth enough to cling to, sanctuary enough to give him some breathing room, and despite still living in secrecy, he was able to start to come to terms with his relationship with his beliefs. He held strong to his steadfast belief in God, to his gratitude towards Christ. And he made peace with the fact that he no longer believed the Bible to be the directly Spoken, unerring Word of God. Aetos decided his core Faith was unshaken, but that the Holy Bible had been written by people...And may, in fact, therefore be open to more interpretation. He (of course) hid even this slight divergence in belief from his parents and teachers.

Not that it ended up mattering: He wasn't even yet seventeen when his world fell apart. Perhaps the peace he’d begun to make internally changed his presentation somehow; maybe he carried himself differently without trying and something seemed “off.” Maybe he aroused suspicion. Maybe it was because a different boy in his grade had caused a scandal recently by coming out and Aetos’s held tongue was noticeable. Whatever the cause, it wasn’t that long before the arrival of Christmas 2015 that Aetos’s parents checked his user account’s internet history on whatever whim they had and discovered his forum posts; his gender, his sexuality, his transgressions into scientific study.
The confrontation wasn’t pretty, and the fallout uglier still: His parents gave him three days to agree to quite literally set himself straight—and cis—...or to get out of their house. He didn’t use even one of those days, and left home that same evening. Sixteen and scared, unable to face the concept of conversion therapy but devoid of street-smarts and of anyone he trusted to accept him, he headed for the only place he thought he’d find sanctuary: Straight to the arms of God. He was up on the railing halfway across the George Washington Bridge on a cold late-December night when he met the rest of Edge of Infinity.

“Met” might be too gentle of a word for tires screeching to a stop, for Sethfire vaulting the hood of the car before Athena could even get the side door open, for the strength with which Seth hauled Aetos back over the railing and away from Death's outstretched arms. A chaotic beginning, though, gave way to a future more full than Aetos could have ever imagined. 
He had barely murmured his story as breath-fog into the nighttime air when suddenly he was being offered a place to stay, offered a place to stay with his chosen name and pronouns in the mouth of the offeror— and it was in the car-ride that same night that he mentioned music; just as a passing answer to a single question—when Kato, however brusquely, offered him the opportunity of joining EoI’s ranks:

『 “What do you like to do?” Sethfire asked gently, “What do you enjoy, Aetos?”
“Oh, um. Reading? Science, learning...and music, I play some instruments…”
“‘Some instruments’?” Kato interrupted from the driver’s seat, his eyes still piercing from the rearview mirror;
“Which ones? We’re in a band.”
“...I, uh...Piano, violin, flute…”
“Hm. D’ya want to play with us? Keys could sound fuckin’ good.”

』

And from there, life was...a rush. Of time and options and adrenaline. Aetos free-fell not from a bridge but into a future, and he adapted without any adjustment period. Without the need to conceal his identity, he flourished. He mourned the loss of the family he thought he’d had, but celebrated the patchwork one he’d found, and the life he began to build with them. They were quick to support him in transitioning; eager to help him affirm his truth through hormones and surgery and all else. With them, the shyness his secretive youth had bred in him dissipated quickly, and his initial quiet anxiety around Kato became quick-witted sass. Though Seth made an effort to assume a caretaking role—the one he’d so easily adopted with Athena and Kato and Anarchy—the dynamic failed to establish itself this time around. Aetos kept taking charge of his own future, and Sethfire couldn’t conceal his alcoholism or his loneliness to someone sharing his living space, let alone someone as empathetic and eagle-eyed as Aetos. So instead, despite their age difference, Aetos met Seth on a different level. 
They shared a love of logic; science; mathematics. Both were capable of being silent observers and emotionally intuitive. It was due to help from an exceedingly kind and sympathetic school counselor and McKinney-Vento liaison that Aetos had been able to get his education sorted out when enrolling in the public school system after his rescue, and inspired by that, he began encouraging Seth to try again at pursuing the LMHC licensing requirements he’d abandoned due to his alcoholism. Aetos was steadfast and supportive, and he and Seth ended up fostering a friendship instead of something more familial. And if anyone adopted a caretaking position...it was Aetos.

Quiet but socially attuned, Aetos quickly became close with not only Sethfire, but Athena, too: He could offer her empathy over the worry she felt for her brother like no one else could, the two of them being the ones closest to Seth. And Aetos made friends outside of EoI, in the bands they associated with, and was recognized as being both fair-minded and kind: Aetos became the one Audrianna reached out to for an attempt at reconnection after things with Nightshrike went violently sour. And as unlikely as it might seem, over the years Aetos and Kato have managed to foster a friendship in defiance of their conflicting attitudes towards God. Aetos has always excused himself from any fights Kato attempts to pick, and has never hesitated in offering comfort when Kato has needed it. He’ll verbally spar outside of faith-based topics, and his quick-wittedness and casual smartass sarcasm has (along with his musical genius) won him Kato’s loyalty and respect.

Aetos is extremely musically talented, and after beginning to work with Edge of Infinity initially on keys, was able to pick up acoustic guitar as well with very little effort. Music composition came second-nature to him, too, and in EoI he’s easily the most versatile band member: A high tenor but with a vocal range spanning over three octaves, and able to play nearly any instrument he’s handed. Though Chey has now taken over the majority of the work done on keys, Aetos remains invaluable as a musician, back-up vocalist, and composer. 
Yet despite his inborn talent for music, it’s not where Aetos intends to focus his life. In 2017, he started college for a teaching degree: His true passion lies in learning and education, and he’s chasing that with vigor. Though dedicated to the band and its members, Aetos is steadfastly forging his own path...and someone else’s, too: Even after getting a part-time job and his own space, Aetos stayed Seth’s closest confidante. Over time, that bond took on something deeper for Aetos, whose respect for Seth grew gradually towards something more like romance—though Sethfire’s reservations over their age difference kept the pursuit of a relationship of that nature off the table. 
They’re close nonetheless, though, and Sethfire started to make psychological progress after finally sharing his history with Aetos, and beginning to heal...but he remained trapped in his alcohol dependence. Though he’s less withdrawn now by far, and calls for company rather than smashing mirrors or self-mutilating, Seth struggles with the alcoholism in and of itself. It’s Aetos who eventually convinces him to get treatment: He throws down the fact that it doesn’t matter whether Seth returns the romantic feelings he has or not; that he’s trying to save his friend, not a conceptual relationship; that it’s Seth’s life that matters and not his love. And with that and all his desperation both, he finally gets through: Seth seeks treatment, and after a little while...Wonders if maybe he and Aetos could get coffee again, sometime. Or lunch, maybe. Not necessarily as anything, of course! Just...you know.It takes a while—Sethfire is nervous and resistant to labeling it all—but eventually in early 2021 he does end up having to face the fact that they’re dating. 

Aetos takes it all in stride, ever-patient and persevering, as with everything else in his life. He’s well-adjusted and good-natured, working determinedly toward his degree. His faith comforts rather than cuts through him, and that boy on the bridge has become a man whose belief he was Saved that night has never faltered. But perhaps if he looked back on it all, his viewpoint would change. If in his wake, Sethfire heals and Athena gets her brother back, if EoI regains friends they thought they’d lost, and Kato’s intolerance falters and his sharp edges wear down enough to let others in...then maybe in the end, Aetos didn’t have it quite right that winter evening, looking into Sethfire’s face and saying, “I know I can trust you: God sent you.”

Because maybe, in fact...God sent him.

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*•.¸✞ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴғᴏ ✞¸.•*

ȯ Aetos works part-time as barista at a local coffee shop

╚» He has a very deep and intellectually multifaceted understanding of his faith, and will often reply “God is a physicist” when asked about that. His back tattoo is actually from this study on the hypothesis of time being an emergent phenomenon caused by quantum entanglement